Glee: “The Sue Sylvester Shuffle” Recap

Posted: February 6, 2011 in glee, TV
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m back! And you know what that means, Glee is back! It’s about damn time.

Glee

“The Sue Sylvester Shuffle”

This Glee Episode, while having some fantastic moments, was a little too after-school-special/cheese-ball for me. Maybe it was because I was watching it with 3 dudes after the Superbowl who tainted my feelings about it, but upon a second viewing, it’s still pretty cheese sauce

But let’s get on with my review.

We start off with the Cheerio’s dancing to Katy Perry. I’m always amazed at the big production the Cheerio’s do for their performances, which I know is the point. But dude, if there were cheerleaders like this when I went to high school maybe I actually would have attended some of the football games. Okay, so I did go to the football games. But you know what I mean!

Sue, however, is not happy. She’s bored with her Cheerios and decides to tell her cheerleaders to put some chicken cutlets in their bras. Gross. But on the bright side we get to hear Santana’s nickname “Sandbags” again, and we also get to see girls hit each other with raw chicken.  I love Sue.

But it’s time to get serious. The glee members are geeks, the football team hates them, there’s no teamwork, yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t know, I wish there was a more original way to come up with this time old conflict. It just seems too heavy-handed. I think now-a-days in the real world, singing is cool. Especially cool singing with band members and harmonies, and fireworks. But this is TV, I have to keep telling myself that. If everything was hunky dory perfect, there’d be no TV show. And yes, I did say “hunky-dory.”

However, there’s no time to think about that because there’s a man being shot from a cannon. Again, I repeat. There’s a man, being shot, from a cannon. Awesome. AND, Sue scored a field goal with the man.

Meanwhile, Beastie and Schuester join forces and make the entire football team join the Glee club in order to get them to work together. “You’re not going to kiss me again?” Yeah, like that’s going to work. No one’s up for it, everyone’s unhappy, but hey, maybe Rachel and Finn singing some Lady Antebellum will fix things? Yes? No? Cute song, but THIS is the song they pick? What about all those mash-ups? Or Kiss? Bon Jovi, to win them over?

CUT TO: A pretty awesome car commercial done by the Glee Club. I almost didn’t recognize Sam (Chord Overstreet), but I think he’s a lot cuter/better-looking without his Justin Bieber hair. Or as I refer to it, his EMO HAIR. Cut the EMO HAIR people, it’s just not attractive! Check out that commercial here. To see what I mean.

Sue unveils the cannon to her Cheerios and it’s purpose, and we get GENUIS SHOT #1. Little Becky breaking a glass bottle over the Cannon. Genuis. Unfortunately, poor Brittany draws the short straw and has been chosen by Sue to be shot out of the cannon. Frankly, I think she’s the best choice because she could probably do some awesome layout/summersault thing that would be awesome.  Brittany: “I don’t want to die yet, at least not until One Tree Hill gets cancelled.”

Sue goes on another one of her rampages, once the principal tries to shut her down. It’s classic, but not as great as her first rampage where she took it out on the kids. “No Sue! Not the Children!” Then as her revenge Sue decides to have the Cheerleading Finales the same day as the football Championship. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but hasn’t this football team always LOST? We can’t think about it now. Schue is telling the kids they’ll be performing at their own halftime show, without cheerleaders. This does not sound like a good game. No. But then they decide to do Thriller, and there’s always great potential when Michael Jackson is involved.

During rehearsals, the football players actually seem to be having a bit of fun here. Do I smell turnaround? Finn: “Can we not fight just for one day man? It’s already hard enough not to kick you in the nuts every time I see you.” Man, how many people have I wanted to say that to in my life time? Sorry, tangent. So, the practice their zombie make up and  for a brief moment there seems to be some peace. But it’s brief, as Quinn, Santana, and Brittany debate about competing with the Cheerios, or staying with the Glee Club. One threat from Sue and a crayon drawing from a cannon, later, and the girls are out. Finn is not happy. In fact, he’s disappointed they did not listen to their leader. Sam, however, thinks they need a new leader. Then we get some “great” dialogue.

Sam: Bring it

Finn: Brung.

Original stuff people.

So as their warm up song they sing, “She’s Not There” and it’s pretty great. Everyone is into it, and the football players can really dance. How can they not be having fun? After rehearsal they all feel pretty proud of themselves.  (BTW, I think Artie’s make-up is the best.) However, one bully can always find a bigger bully. And in this case that would be the hockey team (WTF? Where the heck did a hockey team come from?) Anyway, the football players are immediately slushied, which make sense here because hockey. Ice. Slush, get it? The football players should be throwing, grass? Feces? But I digress…

After being humiliated the football players are out.

Then then to further the plot (she wrote sarcastically), we get the Warblers rendition of “Bills, Bills, Bills.” GENIUS #2.  Immediately I am taken back to the year 2000, when Destiny’s Child was hot and TRL and music videos still existed on MTV. This rendition is fantastic and will soon be downloaded onto my ipod to be listened to forever, and ever. But, what does this have to do with the current plot? I don’t get it. I’m confused. And Kurt needs to get back to Glee…But first let me enjoy the slick dancing and the sweet harmonies… B to the W, as much as I love Darren Criss, he can’t pull off words like “baller” and  “scrub.”

Moving on.

In a great display of camaraderie, the girls decided to join the football team so the team can have enough players to play. I thought this was actually a sweet idea and it shows how much the team loves each other. Plus it always shows real growth in Rachel. Little miss perfect is willing to get down and dirty on the football field? However, well intentions do not win a game. The team sucks, and Tina takes an awful hit while trying to score a touchdown. Well Mr. Football Player, you must feel pretty proud of yourself being able to take down an 80-pound Asian girl. Finn goes to get Quinn, Brittany and Santana, and Puck goes to get the rest of the team. And like my friend says, well, if convincing them every other time didn’t work, it’s sure to work now. And only because there’s about 10 minutes left in the episode.

The Glee’s performance of “Thriller/Heads Will Roll”, could have been  so much more. Thriller has so much punch and power, but this fell a bit short. Maybe it was the choreography. Maybe it was the vocals, I don’t know what it was, I just wish it was MORE. I don’t think they did Michael Jackson justice, but maybe because you just can’t. And how come the school loves it so much when they HATE Glee club? Shouldn’t everyone think it’s stupid?

Everything ends a bit neat and tidy, the football team wins, the villain joins in the fun, Sue is overthrown, and Finn and Quinn kiss. Kinda predictable actually. So yeah I’m disappointed. This episode could have been SO MUCH MORE. Hopefully, Tuesday’s episode will make up for it.

What do you think? Do you agree? Was “Bills Bills Bills” fantastic? Do you wonder when Kurt is going to come back to Glee? Where in the hell did the hockey team come from?  Were you disappointed by this episode? Am I being too hard on the episode?

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