Glee Recap: Brittany/Britney

Posted: September 30, 2010 in glee, TV
Tags: , , , , , ,

Previously on Glee! A whole bunch of drama happened, some singing, “Other Asian’s” hot hot abs, and that’s what you missed on (insert sing-songy voice) GLEE!


Glee club is having a meeting about what song to do next. Some ramblings about Britney Spears, then oh my gosh is Brittany (Heather Morris) actually being allowed to have more than one liners. I think she’s speaking more now in this 1 minute period than she spoke the entire first season. And I love it. Brittany doesn’t want to perform Britney songs much to Kurts disdain. Santana: “Leave Brittany alone.”


Now Will is talking to Emma, but I’m too distracted by the pamphlets to pay attention to anything they are saying:

Proper Wiping easy as 1-2-3” (Someone should give this pamphlet to whoever used the toilet in the third stall to the left at the AMC movie theater yesterday)

I Still Breastfeed…But How Old is Too Old?

And “Wow! There’s a hair down there.”

Who thinks of these things? Genius. Plus, can you imagine the guy who had to take the breastfeeding pamphlet template to Kinkos. Sorry dude! Enter John Stamos, who if possible looks even better than he did on Full House or ER.  John since leaving ER, is still in the medical profession, only now he’s a dentist. Damn that Emma! Then something about sending the dentist to see the kids.

Now Finn is getting bullied. I know he’s a nerd and a geek and all, but he’s like a foot taller than these dudes. Can’t he take them? Artie breaks up the fight and the bully on camera right says “There’s something not right about beating up a kid in a wheelchair.” Let’s just think about that now shall we? Don’t hurt yourself.

Uncle Jesse Hot Doctor no, wait that was right, Hot Doctor puts Brittany under to fill her cavaties (that’s what she said) so she won’t feel a thing. “Like Roofies?” And suddenly Brittany is able display just how much better she is than the real Britney Spears, both in real live and Glee life. 1) She looks better then her. 2) She’s a better dancer than her! 3) She’s a better lip singer. But seriously, Heather Morris has some crazy dance skills! I’m a bit mesmerized by her abs, I’m secure enough to admit that. And I think that yellow snake wants to be more than just friends. But too late dream (hallucination?) is over.

Finn and Rachel talk about football. Rachel is being neurotic, and Finn wants to be popular again. Santana and Brittany make fun of her and Finn laughs. Okay boyfriend, I know you’re mad at the girl, but not cool. Just my opinion.

This time Brittany and Santana are put under and have a joint dream with Britney’s song “Me Against the Music”. Santana should never dance next to Brittany again because girl just blows her out the water. Maybe it’s the hair but she is KILLING IT! Wait is that Mark from SYTYCD? Brittany and Santana have this awesome dance moment with a cane. Whoever choreographed this is badass and now we’re interrupted by the real Britney Spears. And I move on.

Mr. Schue is again trying to trying to push some adult contemporary on them. Brittany “It’s Brittany…Bitch.” Great. Kurt, who I love, sounds like a whiney little kid who just wants his toy and he’s sent to the principal’s office which we never get to see, because we’re back in the Dentist chair. Where Hot Doctor tells Will to let loose. Isn’t that what made him lose Emma in the first place, you know with him letting loose and making out with Rachel’s Mom?

Now Rachel is singing and dancing to “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” Now stick with me for a minute, but this song was released in like 1999/2000. When I was an eight grader. Since I imagine these kids are 16/17…it means they were 6 or 7 when this song came out. Were they even old enough to listen to Britney Spears, or watch MTV? No! So…doesn’t make sense. Or am I just crazy? Don’t answer that. Watching this makes me feel nostalgic for the old video. Rachel’s doing an admirable job, but Britney did it better. Sorry girl. I’m also distracted by the girl behind her who has crazy abs. But not in a good way. They look like they belong on a MAN! Go back and look at them. It’s either bad make-up job. Or girl needs to tone. it. down.

Rachel dresses provocatively, more couple arguing and another great line from Brittney “It looks like a Jewish Cloud.” Now Schue is in a badass car. And Sorry Hot Doctor but yellow is definitely better then yellow. And Matthew Morrison should not use phrases like “This is my jam.” And how is Emma a homewrecker, I think Fake Baby beats flirting. Yeah…

Insert Naked Butt Sweat Stain. I can’t look at it! I can’t look at it. I feel bad for the guy who had to make that. And I’m not talking about Josh Sussman.

Skipping over another appearance by Britney completely, I take us to a fantastic rendition of “Stronger” Poor Finn looks completely awkward, but there’s something about men dancing in football players that hits me right here.

Now we’re at a school assembly where “Fresh Off their last place at regionals, please give it up for New Directions!” “Toxic” starts out all acoustic and reminds me of the cover Jason Mraz did on “Toxic” but I can’t find it otherwise I’d link it. And we also get an awesome spin from Brittany. Then Mr. Schue comes in and sings Britney, and it’s great. I love his voice, I gotta tell you. Even if, like Emma says, he looks like he belongs on Kids Incorporated. You know, I also remember a referance to Blossom in this episode. Do teens now a days even know what these two shows ARE? I know, because I grew up on these shows, but a lot of the teens now are growing up on One Tree Hill, and Gossip Girl. Not Blossom, Out of This World, and Punky Brewster. Sorry Tangent, back to the show and the Britney Spears Sex Riot. Some dude rips his shirt off and everyone goes screaming. I hope the two things don’t have to do with each other, other wise I feel really bad for the dude.

To end the show, Emma wants Will to relax, but be himself and drives away in a beautiful red car, Quinn hits on Finn but he loves Rachel, Mr. Schue wants the kids to be themselves, Rachel sings to Finn as a fake tear rolls down her face. End Scene.

Other Quotes – all from Brittany. Go figure.

“This room looks like the room on that spaceship I was probed in.”

“Please don’t pull all my teeth, i’ll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.”

“Finn can fly?”

Overall grade for this episode: B+


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